Anal Sex for Men and Women: Exploring Pleasure Techniques

At first, it was shocking, then it became a cultural moment, and now it is almost a standard part of the modern bedroom repertoire—at least, a quick look at any adult media where anal sex is featured regularly will prove this to you.

In some ways, anal sex is like cilantro: some people find it enjoyable, while others have tried it once, absolutely hated it, and vowed never to do it again. There is a group of people who swear that you can learn to love anal sex if you follow the basic rules of the game. There are many rules, but they are simple and easy to master. So, why do some people find anal sex pleasurable while others do not?

First of all, anal sex is often perceived as uncomfortable or painful, at least at the beginning. For beginners, the very idea of inserting anything into the anus may seem overwhelming. Technically, the anus, rectum, and large intestine are responsible for absorbing nutrients and eliminating waste. It is an exit, not an entrance. The rectal lining is very delicate, making it easy to tear or damage, which can be extremely painful and even dangerous. That’s why it’s crucial to use plenty of lube and condoms for anal sex.

However, it is entirely possible for objects—such as a plug, a dildo, a finger, or a penis—to fit inside the rectum and create exquisitely pleasurable sensations. The pleasure of anal sex is not just about accommodating the size of the inserted object. It is also about new techniques and the emotional aspects surrounding anal penetration. This intimate act is often accompanied by deep trust and closeness between partners. To enjoy anal sex, you need to overcome the biological function of the anus and view anal sex as something pleasurable.

The average millennial knows what’s up—they experiment with anal play more than previous generations. If you’re also curious about butts but don’t know where to start, this post is for you.

I’m Curious but Cautious?

That’s totally understandable, considering the rectum’s primary function. So, before I move on to tips for anal training, let’s talk about cleanliness.

In general, feces stay in the large intestine and move downward only when they’re ready to be expelled. Emptying your bowels and taking a shower an hour or two (or more, depending on the individual) before sexual activity is enough for most people to feel clean in that area.

If you’re still concerned and want a deeper cleanse, I recommend a separate guide to anal preparation and hygiene.

· Adjust your diet to include more fiber.

· Use an anal enema. One of the safest liquids for cleansing is a saline solution.

Warning! Frequent enemas are not recommended.

· Keep necessary items handy—wet wipes, a towel.

· Condoms! The best way to protect yourself from contact with “chocolate.” Also, STIs are statistically more easily transmitted through anal sex due to the fragility of the tissues. So, anal sex, lube, and condoms are almost a must.

In short, fiber-rich food, a towel, and protective barriers (such as latex, polyurethane, or nitrile gloves and condoms) help maintain cleanliness.

The Pleasures of Anal Sex—Why You Should Consider Trying It

Now we come to my favorite and most important part: physiology.

When it comes to genuinely enjoying anal sex, there are multiple factors: the body and anatomical structure, plus the emotions associated with this act. Together, these factors determine whether people like anal sex or not. And as always, everything is individual.

The anus, the external opening of the rectum, is surrounded by two muscular rings: the internal and external sphincters. The external sphincter can be easily relaxed consciously, but the internal sphincter requires a bit more effort.

The anus is rich in sensory nerve endings. It contains half of all nerve endings in the pelvic region. Like the vagina, most of these nerve endings are concentrated around the opening and inside the rectum. The anus differs from the vagina in that it does not self-lubricate, so it requires additional lubrication in large amounts. Physiologically speaking, we know that people experience intense sensations when the anus is opened, which is why it is often considered an erogenous zone.

Why Is Anal Sex Pleasurable for Women?

Various types of anal touch bring pleasure to many women because the anus is rich in nerve endings. But that’s not the only reason.

It turns out that the clitoris is much larger than previously thought. It has branches extending along the vaginal walls. Some women can experience orgasm from anal sex because their anus is positioned close to the vaginal wall and pelvic floor. This means that anal stimulation not only enhances pleasure from the anus but also stimulates the clitoral legs. Gentle anal stimulation can be a way to heighten arousal and engage the clitoris. Additionally, since the membrane between the anus and vagina is quite thin, anal penetration at the right angle can also stimulate the G-spot, the S-spot, or even the Skene’s gland. The intensity of sensations from anal penetration certainly helps many achieve a deep orgasm, making anal sex a favorite bedroom activity for some women.

Why Is Anal Sex Pleasurable for Men?

The anus and surrounding areas can be a source of sexual pleasure for people of any gender or sexual orientation. For example, the idea that only gay men can enjoy or derive pleasure from anal stimulation is false and rooted in homophobia. Many gay men enjoy anal stimulation, just as many heterosexual men do. And this is purely due to physiology, not orientation.

Why? Most men have a pleasure spot called the prostate inside the anal canal, which, when stimulated, can lead to orgasm.

The prostate is a sensory gland about the size of a walnut. It is located below the bladder, between the rectum and the urethra, at the base of the penis. If you were born with a penis, you were born with a prostate.

The prostate is highly sensitive to pressure and touch, especially during anal sex or perineum massage. Some people can reach orgasm solely through prostate stimulation. Others need additional stimulation—such as from the penis—and find that prostate stimulation enhances sensations in other areas or intensifies orgasms, making them more powerful.